


a harmless crush

by e_is_better_than_a



Series: into you [1]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gay, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, good to bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-27 02:42:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18295217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/e_is_better_than_a/pseuds/e_is_better_than_a
Summary: It had been a fling. That’s what they decided way back when filming began. They knew that no matter how hard they hoped, it wouldn’t work. Ben lived in London and Joe went back and forth between New York and L.A. But why, if he knew this was going to end, did he let himself fall this hard for the other? He’s not a teenager anymore, he should have known better.





	1. crushes

**Author's Note:**

> the chapters are short! enjoy them!

Even in the dim light of the pub, it was obvious to anyone that Ben and Joe were sitting closer than normal. But Joe was still working his way through his first beer and Ben was staying sober for the night. It was also apparent that something was going on between them: whenever they brushed arms, both men blushed and a smile found its way onto their lips; when one wasn’t speaking or being talked to, the man would stare at the other before flushing and looking down at the dirty table. It became  _ more _ obvious when the two left together, claiming they were exhausted from the week of nerve-wracking filming of Live Aid and wanted to get some well deserved sleep. So the friends left the pub and ventured out into the cool night.

 

Being honest, Joe had been crushing on Ben ever since he met him. Everything about him enchanted him. Whenever Joe made him smile or laugh, it felt like he had just won a gold metal, and when Ben gave him a hug, it felt like he was flying. It made him feel like a teenager. He should be past crushes on pretty castmates, yet here he was, walking to his rented apartment with the guy who made him weak. They walked close too, shoulders bumping with every step, knuckles brushing when a stranger walked past them on the sidewalk, in a half-assed attempt to avoid a collision. Only when the two reached the base of Joe’s apartment, did they speak.

 

“Do you wanna stay over for a little before heading home? It’s only 10,” Joe offered, unlocking the door and stepping into the lobby. Ben met Joe’s inviting gaze and grinned.

 

“Yeah, I’ll stay for a little,” Ben nodded and his grin turned into an award winning smile that made Joe’s heart flutter and his knees a little weak. All Joe could do was smile and nod back before leading the way up to his apartment.

 

After another round of unlocking and door opening, they beelined for the couch after toeing off their shoes and shedding their coats. Once they collapsed and the TV was flicked onto reruns of Bake Off, it was only a matter of time before they began judging the contestants out loud and fighting over who deserved to win each challenge.

 

For Ben, it took all he had to not kiss Joe. It was almost herculean. Ben had heard through the grapevine that Joe Mazzello had gotten hot. He thought nothing of it until this movie. He thought nothing of it until he met him and the first thought that ran through his head was  _ some child actors don’t turn out well, but damn, he turned out perfect. _ Ben’s mini-infatuation only escalated when they became good friends. He hadn’t noticed that his infatuation had turned into a crush until about half-way into Live Aid when Joe was laughing and giggling near the drum riser before they began. His joyful laughter as Gwil mercilessly made fun of Ben made the bruises to his ego completely worth while.

 

However, he would never let his crush go farther. It would turn into a jumbled mess of home-life and work-life that could turn sour at any time and fuck everything up. So for now, he would just ignore it. Feelings are hard things to understand and right now, Ben just wanted to spend the night with his crush, critiquing home-bakers and joking with each other.

 

And that’s what they did.


	2. some advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys and lucy have dinner and joe stays late to wash the dishes as a thank you.

It was a month later; the “band” and Lucy were sitting in Ben’s apartment, having a home-cooked meal that mostly Ben and Lucy made. The night was winding down and everyone had already left except Joe, who had insisted on doing the dishes. All of them.

 

Their crushes had only gotten worse and seeing each other everyday didn’t help. It was bad enough that Gwil had found out about it all on his own. It had been a few days after the pub celebration, when Ben was yanked into a private corner by the taller man. He had given the blond the most intimidating look with the words, “Spill.” to go along with it. And Ben was defenceless against the questioning man, so he told him everything. The only thing Gwilym said when he had finished telling his tale was, “Tell him the next time you get the chance. It won’t ruin anything, just build a more open and honest relationship,” and then he returned to the rest of the cast and crew, leaving the younger in a shocked state at the wisdom.

 

However, when Ben saw Joe washing the dishes, he knew Gwil would never forgive him if he didn’t seize the moment. So, with as much confidence as he could muster, he jumped up onto the counter next to where Joe was working. The action caused Joe to look at him for a moment before looking back down at his hands, currently scrubbing a pot.

 

“Joe, I have a question.” Ben started, trying to sound nonchalant, but his knuckles turned white has he gripped the edge of the counter, as if to try to ground himself.

 

“I’m all ears.” Joe responded, giving Ben a warm grin that made Ben’s heart flutter.

 

“How do I tell someone that I like them? It’s been a while but I really like them and I need them to know, even if it can’t become anything,” Ben rambled. His confidence was slowly running out but the conversation had been started. No turning back.

 

Joe gave him a questioning look before returning to his task and asking, “Who?”

 

Ben snorted. “Well, they have the most adorable laugh, and they make the cutest face when something gross comes up, like they just sniffed something absolutely  _ foul,” _ Ben giggled  looked at Joe, only to see he was beaming, happy that his friend had found someone to make him happy. Even if it wasn’t him. But Ben wasn’t done.

 

“He makes me happy,” Joe’s head turned once Ben had spoken.  _ He? _ “But the problem is, you see, I can’t  _ for the life of me, _ decide if I should ask him out,” Joe had stopped doing the dishes and  fully turned his body to face Ben. When their eyes met, Joe couldn’t breathe.

 

“So what should I do?” Ben finally finished. He just hoped that Joe would pick up on who he was talking about.

 

“Um, ahh, see, funny thing is, I’m in kind of the same situation,” Joe stuttered, moving so that he was right in front of Ben. Joe could’ve sworn that there was a flicker of hope in Ben’s eyes. He hoped to God that he wasn’t miss reading this. “This guy though, could you spare anymore details?”

 

Ben was at a loss for words but somehow muttered out a coherent sentence, putting it out in the open. “He’s right in front of me.”

 

The two stared at each other for a moment before Joe moved, making the distance between them smaller, and whispered, “Funny, same here.”

 

Ben’s eyes flicked down to Joe’s lips and leaned in slowly, still seated on the counter. Joe closed the gap between them and let his eyes fall shut as their lips met. It was soft and slow, just an affirmation that what just happened really happened. Ben’s hands drifted from the death grip on the counter to either side of Joe’s face, cradling it gently as Joe placed his own hands on Ben’s waist.

 

Both boys would’ve stayed there forever if they could, but eventually they pulled away from each other and smiled. Ben caressed the ginger’s cheeks with his thumbs while he slid off the counter.

 

_ So much for not letting your crush go further. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it! see you soon!!


	3. figuring it out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they boys figure out what to do with themselves.

Joe had decided to stay over that night. Too much had happened for him to just leave and resume their conversation the next day. So together, they crawled into bed, and clung to each other, both afraid that they would wake up and be alone.

 

However, when the morning sun shone through the curtains, they were still tangled together. Ben was the first to wake up. He looked at the actor next to him and smiled.  _ It was real. And he stayed _ . Deciding to make some coffee for himself and the other man lying in his bed, he gave one last look at the beauty in his bed. He meandered into the kitchen and switched on the electric kettle, grabbing two mugs and setting them down, next to the kettle. He scooped some coffee grounds into his second-hand french press that his mom insisted on giving him. A house warming gift, she had called it, but it was just an excuse to get a new one.

 

As he poured the now nearly boiling liquid into the press, a pair of arms came around his middle, and a chin rested on this right shoulder. “Hey,” came a gruff sounding voice from the man behind him. Ben turned to face him and wrapped his own arms around Joe before responding, “Hi.”

 

They stayed like that for 10 minutes while they let the coffee steep. It was almost painful to break apart but  _ damn _ Ben needed coffee. So, in the golden glow of 8 am, they drank and thought about what they would do.

 

Joe broke the early morning silence. “What are we?”

 

Ben studied Joe; he was leaning against the counter, both hands clutching his drink while his eyes watched the liquid. “What do you want us to be?” was all Ben could think to say.

 

The ginger turned his head and studied the ceiling. “I  _ want  _ us to be together. But…”

 

“But what?” Ben pushed. He wanted Joe to be his. After these past months of being together almost everyday, it was impossible to think about being with anyone else. But if Joe needed something different, then he would do it in a heartbeat.

 

Joe just shrugged, infatuated with his caffeine like before. Ben let out a sigh and put his coffee to the side. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, thinking.  _ It’s too fucking early. _ “Joe, you have to be honest with me. Please.”

 

“Ben, if we decide to be a couple, what happens after filming? What happens? I live in the US and you live in London. You’re not going on the press tour either. So what do we do when we can’t see each other everyday? A relationship can’t thrive off that. It’s impossible. And I want to be with you, more than anything, believe me, but I can’t do that. To me or you.” Ben felt like he had just been hit across the face. But Joe was right; always is.

 

“You’re right. But why not make the most of the time we do have? We still have, like, 6 months of being together all the time. And if you think we can just go about like we never talked, then you’re insane. Once we get to the end of filming, we can talk again, but right now? I want to be your boyfriend.”

 

Joe blushed as he met Ben’s eyes. He looked so sincere, so hopeful that this would work, that Joe couldn’t help but hope too. So he nodded. “Ok. We won’t talk about this until we have to.”

 

As the two of them smiled and sipped their coffee in the sun-soaked kitchen, it seemed like they could work out in the end. Like they could muscle through the rough bits at the end of filming and the press tour and end up on top.

 

Seemed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it! feedback is always welcome!


	4. it was always going to happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> filming comes to a close and the lads have a little chat about where to go from where they are.

It was the end. Ben was wrapping tomorrow and leaving for his next project in 4 days, and they still hadn’t talked. Because they knew what needed to happen. So when Ben reached his apartment after getting Indian food from the shop down the road and saw Joe sitting in the living room, looking nervous but also blank, he wasn’t surprised.

 

“Come into the kitchen, love,” Ben called, voice rousing Joe to stand. Joe trudged to the kitchen, dreading the conversation to come, but he knew he had to do it. So he spooned food onto his plate and sat on the counter.  _ This is going to be awful. _

 

“Ben, we need to talk about it,” Joe mumbled before taking a bite. Ben nodded. They did. But that didn’t mean he wanted to.

 

Joe took a deep breath and tried to get Ben to meet his gaze. “We can’t be together anymore. The distance will just be too far and there’s no way we can make it work, with your new thing and the press tour; it would just be too much.”

 

Even though Ben knew it was coming, it still hurt to hear. So instead of saying anything, he just nodded, looking at the floor.

 

“I’m sorry,” Joe added with a broken voice. Another nod. But there was nothing to apologize for.  _ But god, it still felt like everything was falling apart. _

 

“And we can still be friends of course but we can’t be… boyfriends.” Joe finished, vocalizing the obvious, trailing off at the end. Ben let out a teary chuckle and sniffed, looking at Joe for the first time. They held eye contact before Joe hung is head, staring at his food. He was pushing it around on his plate.

 

“Are you gonna eat it or just play with it?” Ben croaked, breaking the tension. His eyes were red and glassy from tears and all Joe wanted to do was take back every word he said. But instead, Joe somehow found it in him to let out a breathy laugh, before bringing the food up to his mouth and eating, having an excuse for being quiet.

 

After 15 minutes of silence, Ben asked, “Are you going to your place tonight?” Joe’s apartment hadn’t been  _ really _ used in 4 months. Just some quick check-ins to make sure nothing was stolen periodically.

 

“Yeah. I think so.” It was going to be a long night.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

When Joe returned to his apartment, Rami was waiting. Joe had given him a spare key forever ago, for emergencies only. And when Joe called him, obviously upset, Rami had made the decision to comfort his friend.

 

As soon as the door had closed behind Joe with a gentle click, the dark haired man was smothering him in a hug. The tender gesture pushed Joe over the edge, sobs shaking his body. Rami just dragged a hand up and down his back, in a smooth rhythm. Somehow, they reached the couch, allowing Joe to collapse and just cry.

 

They hadn’t said, “I love you”. The avoided those three words at all costs, just in case this happened. But they did. In every swipe of a thumb over knuckles, in every look they shared, it was screamed. They never said it out loud though, like if you don’t hear them with your ears, then it’s not true. But Joe knew, from the very beginning, that he would fall for Ben. _ And it was so easy to do. _ Now, Rami had to try to clean up the mess Joe made of himself.

 

But that’s what friends are for, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a little late but the final chapter is here! there will be another part to the series so stay on the look out for that in the coming week! thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked it! tell me what you think but try to be nice!


End file.
